StellarlovesYOU,silly.
Ramona&Scott.

OdieisLOVE.
Zelle.
College, Nursing.
Musically Retarded.
BookFreak.
8teen.

July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
April 2008
May 2008
October 2008
March 2009
October 2009
November 2010

Design: doughnutcrazy
Image: sxc.hu
Brushes: masterjinn
Stocks: I II III

+ i know we're gonna be away from each other for a long time, but i wont let our
relationship die. +


alright, so where did i hear this.. touching line? none other than, my kevin.
haha, yeah.. oh well.. thanks a lot french fries. :)
anyway.. Im uber happy coz he said that.. and well, dont worry..
Im not being too dependent on his words.. and on him. but i fully trust him..
so yeah.. We went out kahapon.
Apparently, he was LATE. as always, but it was ayt.
He was with his friend, mark.
and so.. We went to warzone.. and guess who saw us?

none other than, *dadum* LIAN!
furck.. lian.. haha.
and so yeah.. he was like teasing us and all that.
so after that.. awkward scenario.
We all went to Robinsons..
haha. went to gbox.. and hey!
naglaban kme ni kevin..
bwahaha!! and.. well, lge ako nananalo!!
maybe pinapanalo nya lng aqo.. iono. XD
so yeah..
then, qmaen kme..

went home at around 6pm.
and he stayed there sa kwarto..
naglaro ng naruto.. (adik sa laro.. grbe.)

and so.. yeah. A lot of things happened..
cant share it though.. haha. wag na.
and well.. it was one of the bestest day of my life..


it made me feel na, he really.. does love me.

Thanks.. I had a blast.
Love you always french fries. :)

shit men, this has been the best day of my life.
malapit na ako magtime..
haha. bukas ko nlng share.

love you all.

In my relationship with him, I question..
With him being far away from me..
Will i be able to survive? Is it gonna work out?
Will, my heart still beat for him.. love him till.. whatever?
Will i be loyal and just to him?

I dont really know..
Some say, Eman and I look better together..
and that kevin and I are not meant to be together..
can it be true?
I dont know too..

But yeah, I cant face the fact that he's leaving for sure..
and that we wont be together for a long time..
I dont even know when we will see each other again..
all i know is that, he said he would visit me often..
bla bla..
pero sa pasukan pa..

God damn it..
everybody is voting for eman..
I mean, di naman aqo naaapektuhan in a way..
but yeah..
I dont know!

grrawr. I love kevin soo much..
but its just that.. i cant take.. long dstance relationship.
Talking to him, hearing his voice..
to be honest..
Is not really enough.

It really isnt..
oh well, im being.. emo here again. xD

anyway..
Happy monthsary baby. :)
You looked cute knina.. parang tatakbo bilang senador!
haha. loool.

+ i keep dreamin you'll be with me and you'll never go.
stop breathing if i dont see you anymore.
-Far away.

-im gonna miss you to death cupiecake..
I love you.
..dont worry, i'll be strong for you.

+ The pieces can still fit perfectly. oh wait, we're trying.. aren't we? +

Yeah, scratch that thought about me having a hard time and all that..
I've made a decision and a conclusion.. although, i wont tell. :)
haha. and well, i am happy and content wiv what i have right now..

I've talked to him about it, and well.. yeah.
I got some answers, theory?! bla bla..
yada yada. So yeah, some people might want to know if what my decision would be..
if i would stop or go on with him..
I'd choose, the.. go on with him.

SO yeah, uh..
We had a confession nung friday..
and i confessed a lot of sins to.. the korean priest..
then well, when i went inside the chapel..

I cried. I broke down an cried. xD
coz, there were like a million things that i've done wrong..
and that..
I feel guilty about it..
but yeah, Life shouldn't be wasted with.. feelings such as regrets.
might as well learn from it nlng d ba..
which makes us grow..

Then, after the confession..
I was.. quiet nung pag akyat ko..
until i reached the classroom..
until mag uwian..
ang bait ko tlg. XD

and some gr.6 apparently, apologized to me.
iono why.. xD
So yeah..

The next day..
It was my bro's boitday..
kevin Olayvar and Cj went to our house..
then we went out..
went to MoA..
played dota, watched a movie, played in powersation..

I had an awesome time wiv them..
puro kalokohan alam nila..
oh yeah, and he gave me a cow stuffie toy..
and we named it.. "Jimmy".
i shall bring it tomorrow..

igue, gotta go.

-better days.

I was suppose to post something good..
coz i had it all written in a piece of paper, but then i got stubborn.

but.. cge na nga..
This might be a long post since there are a lot of things going on right now..
there are a lot of things wandering around my mind, things to ponder, questions.. answers bla bla.
so, here goes nuffin..
Ever got into a relationship where yout both dont hang out in school that much but usually talk over the phone for an hour that it makes you realize you had fun talking with the person but still there's something missing? I mean, Is that talk or conversation even enough for you? Those sweet, endearing words.. to match it all up with his/her voice?
Hay, i dont really kjnow.. but, its hard to admit that, yeah.. Im a bit sad about things, i mean.. between me and him. Apparently, there are a lot of reasons, i just try to hide it in my mind and go on. (Life, goes on.)
But since i can't take it anymore, i really need to let this all out.. Im having a hard time with him, to be honest. Especially with the way people see the both of us.

Yeah, First.. They say he's too young for me.. looks can be very deceiving huh?
I mean, i dont see it in that way, i dont find him that young for me.. cguro yung mukha nea, but not the way he thinks. When i talk to him, I dont find him as someone.. childish or sumffin. prng.. Its like im talking to a person whom i usually talk to, i mean.. like the rest. an everyday person.. but yeah.. someone who i love. xD llooool.

hold on..
i gotta go..
continue this some other time.. bye.

-Past, there are a lot of things to talk about the past.

+ The Love you cant have, last the most, is the strongest feeling, but hurts the most. +

*ahem* *stares* thats.. uber true, huh? *it stung me.. ouch ouch*
joke. xD
haha. Oh well, Just wanna share you guys.. something na I promised when..
i was in the brink of, dying.
It goes like this..
"In this pain i'm going through right now, I wish that.. I could be the only person who can feel this pain, who can feel this misery. Me and Me alone. And if not, it's alright.. I just hope and wish na, If ever, A loved one.. would go through this pain as well, i just hope i wasn't the reason.. the one who caused the pain that person is going through right now, coz i know how it feels.. I really do."

And guess what.. All those.. Stupid thoughts.. flew away.
Gone with the wind, It's like i ate what i said.
So yeah, Gomenasai.
To all the people whom are labeled.. "This is jiz's fault."
Sorry, I hope its not too late though.
and that, i could make it up to you guys, someday.
and so, with all these troubles that i've caused..

I know one day, babalik sa akin lahat.
..and, am I ready?
well, I should be.
I think i deserve it.

anyway.. *too emo*

Don't worry, I'm not sad.
I just feel, guilty. and.. stupid.

well,
I think i would like to end it all up here. Production is very near.
and school is almost over.

*another day, another lie.*
.poooof.

~Embrace, so much tighter. This could be our last together.~

Hey, I've thought about.. the last time i saw the old jiz.
prolly it was.. uh.. I was.. with no one. xD
and.. Ever since that tragedy had happened. It, tore me and made my heart blow up and mess the whole place, i fucked around.
I admit, jiz is a big mess right now.
Reputaion, now is broken. I have a bad rep.
People see me as someone, who.. Is. so flirty,bitchy,cold,habulin daw ng lalaki, 5th timer?. and all those negative things.
..some tell me, not to get affected.
But, how? Why shouldn't i? Its true nmn e. lahat nmn ng sinabi nla totoo.
xcept sa.. 5th timer. isa lng love ko no. xcuse sem muah.

So yeah, I'm tryin my best to. Be myself again..
Coz i miss me soo much.
and that, maybe its time na.. pra.. di maging affected.
i mean, porket.. may tragedy nagbago na ako? ano yun?
mali nga nmn eun db..

soo yeah, now that. I found HIM again.
I wont make the same mistakes my ex and i did.
i'll be.. different this time.
and.. no emo emo mode. XD
Im, not afraid to admit.. that. i love someone new right now.
and that, he made my heart. Beat again.

~koi shiteru.