StellarlovesYOU,silly.
Ramona&Scott.

OdieisLOVE.
Zelle.
College, Nursing.
Musically Retarded.
BookFreak.
8teen.

July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
April 2008
May 2008
October 2008
March 2009
October 2009
November 2010

Design: doughnutcrazy
Image: sxc.hu
Brushes: masterjinn
Stocks: I II III

i've got n0thin to do right n0w..
s0.. i want to say.

Thanks. To all the people who helped me out..
and yeah, until ngeun. nanjan pren keu to make me haPpy.
Yeah, leks is right.. its been so long since they saw me haPpY again.
paminsan minsan nln nila aqu nakikitang masaya.. as in the real one.
*sigh* kht aqu.. di qu ren lam..
qng pnu tlg aqu liligaya in my own little way.
im n0t realli uber sad right n0w.. pero.. eto.
Im still feelin a bit empty.

I really hate the line. "I promise".
or "I swear". kse.. Promises are always meant to be BROKEN.
pls.. dont say it.. just do it.

so.. I just wanna share the song na.. I'm listenin to right now.

Goodbye  To You

Michelle Branch

Of all the things I've believed in,
I just want to get it over with,
tears form behind my eyes,
but I do not cry,
counting the days that pass me by.

I've been searchin' deep down in my soul;
words that I'm hearin' are starting to get old,
it feels like I'm starting all over again,
The last three years were just pretend,
and I said...

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.

I still get lost in your eyes,
and it seems that I can't live a day without you,
closing my eyes,
and you chase my thoughts away,
to a place where I am blinded by the light,
but it's not right.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold on to.

Ooh whoa....
and it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time,
I want what's yours and I want what's mine,
I want you,
but I'm not giving in this time.

Goodbye to you,
goodbye to everything I thought I knew,
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto
Goodbye to you, (goodbye to you)
goodbye to everything I thought I knew, (goodbye to you)
You were the one I loved,
the one thing that I tried to hold onto,
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)
the one thing that I tried to hold onto.
(the one thing that i tried to hold onto)

Oh, oh whoa, oh, oh (one thing that i tried to hold onto)
and when the stars fall I will lie awake,
you're my shooting star.

~ You cry out in your sleep,
All my feelings exposed
And here's a taste of my mouth,
As desperation takes hold.
Is it something so good
Just can't function no more.~ -Love will Tear Us Apart (FOB)

hmpf, mick was right.. why didn't i try to fix it?
well, I did fix it. right?
But everytime we would fix it.. things would.. somehow. Fall apart.
hay.. I Do love him.. I Still love him.
..but yeah, this type of Love is Forbidden.
He doesn't want me back.. neither love me.
So what's the use anyway?
There's no luck.. neither hope.
If only things were easy.. With just.. Words.
things will be okay again..
but no.. that's not the way life is or love.
If only i could prove to him.. that i Do Love him.
but yeah.. he won't notice it.
Action Speaks louder than words, ei?
I mean.. Im too late now. He's already with NIKA.
..*sigh*...
I want jake back. It may not be now. But who cares?
I'm willing to wait.
As long as i know he loves me.. that's totally okay with me na.

uggh. what the heck?!
I miss jake.

[I guess it's too late now]

*tsk.tsk*

last night i had some random thoughts while talking to carla on the fone..
i realized that, people in JASMS.. has this some sort of a.. "disease".
and i call it.. the. "Something & Nothing" Disease.
this type of disease is unstopable.
...People would always think.. there's "something" goin on..
while.. you, yourself. would think.. nothing is going on.
I mean hey, who cares what they think anyway? right? I know better.
but yeah, sometimes i cant help it.. i find it really annoying.
for example..
In carla's case.. She would talk to her beshie or someone na close nea.. (bsta guy)
then somebody would see them TALKING.
then somebody would tell lei.. then lei would believe them. then lei would get jelly..
and lei will not talk to carla.. until things would get fucked up again.
Yeah, welcome to my HISTORY.
i mean. i still have that disease right now.. (told ya it's unstopable.)
Sometimes i wonder, there's nothing bad when people are talking to each other. right?!
fuck, they were just TALKING. they were just exchanging words.
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU JIZELLE?! why do you have to feel jelly?
...yeah, those thoughts keeps on running thru my mind when i see them both talking. (dti.)
and yeah, i get it. but.. i cant.. apply it to myself.
People are so weird. (just like me)
You'd tell them the truth, then they would not believe you.
they would start some rumors.. and yeah, If people would ask you again.
They would not believe you. They think something is going on. But for "us",
nothing is going on.
Sometimes if they would tease you, and you'd try to defend yourself..
they would tell you.. "bqt napakadefensive mo?" i mean DUH! i just wanted to clear things out!
or sometimes, after they tease you.. If you'd try to be quiet. they would tell you.. "nyek! meron e! meron e! tignan mu! di umiimik!"
HAHA.. kht anung gwin mu.. dun ren sla babagsak.
I mean. what the heck do you guys know? so.. yeah, we know BETTER.
this is what i hate about having a ubersmall community.

Just wanna clear things out guys..
Mickey, is not courting me. We went out as "FRIENDS".
no strings attached.
Mickey is a very good friend of mine.
So guys, try to stop that issue.
It's annoying. NOTHING is goin ON. okay?!
Stop that fuckin rumors.
We are just good friends. That's it!
i mean DUH. im still not OVER him.
and.. yeah, maybe i'm not yet ready for a.. relationship.
..it's too painful.
I'll just stick to..
Life having.. admirers, suitors.
and me.. having some crush or inpiration..
but not a BOYFRIEND.
nah uh uh..!

[Parakiss.23]

..yeah. Yesterday, was an uberfun day..
i uber like hanging out wiv mick. he's fun to be with..
FYI: we were just gOin oUt as friends.. okay?
thanks for the uberfun day mick.. yeah, it was worth it. = )
haHa! mick's my new besHie..
so.. there.. uH.. today.. is.. WTF?! 28..
yeah, sad. *sob*
didn't fucking make it.
oh well, as always.. "that's life".
and again.. "nothing lasts forever"..
uh..
I went to tagaytay today..
and.. yeah, it was.. uh.. "fun?!."
yeah.. it was.. NOT!!!!!!!!!!
haha.. i went to tagaytay.. just to attend a fuckin party..
with.. a bit OLD people.. and.. to top it all up.. we were with..
A PSYCHO, CRAZY, UBERWEIRD kid!! deym that kid was funny! lol.
and the dog was uberugly.. hahahaha.. *makin faces*
the party was.. uh.. a bit... FUN.
there were girls.. dancin.. PEARLY SHELLS.
XD and lol, they suck.
If i was there dancin.. uh. well.. wLa lng!
hahah XD
bUt yeah, it was a fine day for me..
I went home at around.. 7..
haha.. i uber miss someone right now!
XD hahaha.. yea yea. no MORE "HAPPY ANNIVESARY"
hahahaha. XD oh well..
bye..

[Parakiss.23]

~much has been said~

wow.
WHY MAKE ME CRY NOW?!
WHY AT THIS DAY?

hay.. i was.. readin..
the.. letters he gave to me..
and the past few months.. were..
endless. they were full of love..
until...

yeah.. now. It feels like..
I was his SOMEBODY.
now.. I'm his.. NOBODY.

...Love, too painful.
I'll just enjoy my life..
knowing.. there are people..
who wants to.. court me.. or like me.
pero.. hanggang dun lng muna cguro.

nobody wants to.. love someone.. like.
me.

ever..


I mean.. DUH.
im not replacing you kaagad. if thats what you think.
i know you dont care.
but..
hey.. I wanted that date.
I mean.. I do.. I really do. ofcourse i do. mick's a good friend.
Coz I wanted to have fun.. and forget all the pain.. and misery..
make new friends.. meet new people. Move on.
i mean.. to be honest. i still love you.. (stupid ba?)
i still want you back.
but..
I'm doing this.. not only for me. but for you as well.
You said it yourself.
"Lets move on..."
Im trying.. yeah.. i'am.

This is what you want.. right?
things are going well, as you want them to be.
If this would make you happy.. so be it.
[Parakiss.23]

hEy tHeRe. geOrge is sOo hOt! haHa.
hm. *sigh*
tOrture week is finaLLy over..
exaMs are already dOne. *wOosh!*
now, time to submit teh late projects.
haha. suckish ei?
oh well..
nOthin speciaL happened tOday..
they just kept on teasing me.. 27.
i dont know why.
XD
[ParaKiss.23]

~.Unrequited Love.~


oh yeah. unrequited love. oooh. it burns. it hurts. it melts.
wow. haHa.. im.. Loveless right now.
tee. the good thing about this is..
I get to hang out with my friends more often..
and.. get to know them more.
but yeah. he would always cross my mind.
he's always on my mind.
secretly.
I mean.. all the love.pain. that i have..
is..
buried. deep. in my heart.
I think about him..
Look at him..
Secretly..
haha.. sounds like a stalker to me.
XD actually im not.
im just.. gazing at his beauty.
They dont know what i really feel inside..
cause im scared that they'd get mad at me.
and tell me how stupid i am again. XD

HAHA.. Decayed Thoughts.
i think thats what it is.

Oh well..
Life must go on.
hmm. I'm gettin addicted to the Song "Lonely In Paradise"
and also.. to Paradise Kiss.
George! sOo hOt.
his attitude is soo mature na.
xD

twOo..
*i reMember wHen.. wHen i lOst my minD*

vavOosh.
.bring it all back to me.
.teh oLd jiZzeYh.

+ I never knew.. I never knew that everything was faLLing thrOugh +

gah. The past seems to haunt me every once in awhile.
its Over My Head. almost.. everyday.
aggh.
*singing* And suddenly I become a part of your past.
I'm becoming the part that don't last.
I'm losing you and it's effortless.
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground.
In the throw around.
Never thought that you wanted to bring me down
I won't let it go down till we torch it outselves. *ends*

im being too emo-ish again.
yeah, im trying my best to be happy.
trying to find the SMILE i cant call sarcastic anymore.
trying to find the meaningful HELLO. not a fake one.
My world seems to revolve in a different diection now.
Where i experience things im not use to.
This adjustment sucks.
I know nothing lasts forever..
Sometimes, i would think its a good thing.
sometimes.. the world..
seems to remind me of some things.
Where i should be reminded by the love i thought was 4ever.
haHa.. how idiotic.
Love is blind. It makes you believe in things..
things that are.. impossible.
It makes you feel so good on the inside and on the outside.
that you'd like the whole world to know. YOU LOVE HIM.
haha.. Love is so complicated.
Once a person gets so broken and all that.
Its so hard to cope with things again.
Its like waking up from a beautiful and dreadful dream.

Im.. scared. To Face Every tomorrow.
Living my life.. knowing. He's not mine.
Seeing him happy with others.
Burns me soo much.
and how i try to.. show him.. "Hey. Im happy too. I guess."
..hay..
oh well.. I uber miss him.
the times where... I use to be with him every recess nd lunch time.
The oh so special kiss.
The warm embrace.
Those tender touch.
those.. Precious. Words.

are now. fantasies.

agh. and again.. memories keeps on haunting me.
I seem to remember again everything.
How i linger to be in his arms again..

but the world says.. "No.. Dont, things would get complicated."

and i dont want that to happen..
i mean.. i love him. and i.. maybe..
am. willing to wait..
but the question is..
Do I Have to Wait?.. and, Wait for what?

Moving on was never easy.. letting go was never easy too.
but yeah, sometimes.. they're the only thing. You think is right.
for the sake of your love.
I know i was a very terrible gf..
and im trying to learn on how to be a better one.

I dont wanna be selfish.
I feel like they love each other.. but they know they just cant.
cause of the fact that. they might hurt my feelings.
i mean..
yeah..
its too effin painful that it actually BURNS.
thats why..
Im planning to transfer school by next school yr..

So that they can live happily ever after.
With no worries.
So that they can love each other FREELY.
hay. i know it hurts..
but.. for the fact that i love them both.
and i want them to be happy..
i think.. i have to do this.
I needed to transfer school..
cause i know i cant bear the pain..
but, i want them to be happy..
I dont want to see them together. Neither hear their story.
but..
A girl has to do what she has to do.
So i wanted to transfer school.. so that i dont get to experience..
that much pain.

Hay..
oh well..
after 5 or 6 months.. i'll get over this. then give way. then.. leave. for good.

“If we lose something, we lose it for a reason. That reason might be hard to understand but whatever it is.. We just have to believe that God takes away when he has something better to give.”

i hope thats right.

+keep believing, that you'd love me.. until my heart stops beating.+

yeah, effin true.
guys are LAME. shit.

~To speak or not to.. where to begin. this weird dilemma. I'm finding myself in.
But all i know you only see me as a friend. I try to tell myself wake up fool. this fairytale has to end~

yeah, i've come up with the idea.. to let him go. and MOVE ON.
haha.. its not easy. i can honestly say these are just freakin words.
but they're now coming into action. one by one.
If i used to live my life with no bf. why cant i live life without it now, ryt?
and besides. the answer lies in me.
If i want to be happy.. it's all up to me.
If i would try to get affected with issues. and me seeing them together.
who's day was or is ruined? MINE. right?
haha.. so i wont let that happen.
true, there are times where i wonder and just remember everything..
or when i see them soo happy together. cause finally.. he's trying his best.
to finally HAVE her. every single moment.. it makes me cry.
but. its funny.. i cant cry anymore.. all i have. is pain, anger. in my heart..
no teardrops. so maybe.. im getting use to this. or.. there are no TEARS left.
HAHA. oh well.. Life.. as we know it. Is really like this..
maybe i should learn on how to be single again.. and to love myself FIRST.
and to value and enjoy the company of my friends.
I've learned.. nothing is permanent in this world..
So.. i shouldn't let myself be left out and be in the same ground.
High School life only happens once.
They're right.. there are a lot of fishes in the pond. he's not the only guy in the world..
for heavens SAKE! he's not even worth crying. I guess i wasnt good enough for him.
haha.. okay then.. that's what he thinks.. that's what he wants.
I dont even care anymore.
I must say.. I Still love him. but.. you know.
i cant wait for him. it would be worthless and dissapointing.
well.. im gonna be ready to face.. MORE pain. MORE agony.
and i hope.. i can make it. i know i will.
Love feels good in the beginning... but yeah, they dont last.
You cant just love someone.. and give them your.. 100 percent.
leave some for yourself.
so that it would be easy for you to find ways to be happy even if he's gone.
oh well.. this is how love is.

You smile, bcoz of him.
You cry, bcoz of him..

yeah.. shitty ayt?
well.. he's not such a MAN after all.
di niya kaya harapin laht ng problems wiv me. so.. that makes him.
DUWAG? ay ewan.
bsta...
ako..
i'll try to find a plce.. where.. i can listen to my ipod. then draw.. compose.. sing.
its just.. ME.my Ipod.and the world.

thats what matters.

bye..

Life, for me.. means nothing at all.
i try to take the sadness off my face.
but.. yeah, still cant take this pain away.
Why does love have to be unfair?
why cant it be easy?..
Why do i have to live my life everyday..
knowing.. there's no hope.
no chance to be loved at all.
Oh pls.. i hope this misery ends.

wala na.. cra na tlg buhay ko..
wala na akong pag asa.. ngayon. nararamdaman ko na.. NA DI NA NIYA TALAGA AKO MAHAL.
sinubukan kong.. ipakita sknea na MAHAL ko tlg sia..
kaso.. siya mismo. yung lumalayo.
ayaw ko mapahiya. kaya di na rin ako.. umiimik.
iniiyak ko nalang.
pag iniyak ko naman.. iniicp nea cguro na..
prng.. bale wala lang.
ang sama ng mundo.
puro skit nalang binigay skin.
crang cra na ako.
na kht anong gwin ko..
indi ako LILIGAYA.
as in yung tunay na ligaya na hinahanap ko.
yung naramdaman ko kay jake dti.
wala na.
akala niya.. type ko si mickey.
PUTANG INA.
kung ako sainyo tigilan niyo na kme ni mick ah.
walang namamagitan smen.
di ko siya type.
di niya ako type.
ANO PA GUSTO MONG GWIN KO?
PATUNAYAN KO?
ni ako nga di mo pinasalita.
bigla ka nalang nag jump sa conclusion.
bqt? TANGA ba ako na.. iiyak ako.
sasaktan ko srili ko. magmumukmok ba ako.
o hahayaan ko ba na mglit sken yung mga tao dhil sa hinahabol kita
kung di rin pla kita mahal? HELLO.
gnun na ba kababa yung tingin mo skin?
gnun na ba kantanga?
FYI: kht na inaaway na nila ako.. kung ano ano pinagsasabi nila sayo.
kung alam mo lang.. LGE KITANG PINAGTATANGGOL.
di ko gnwang.. icipn na.. PARANG NAGALIT AKO SAYO. kht na INIWAN mo na ako..
wala.. MALINIS prn tingin ko saiyo.
na.. you're still a great guy.
pero.. bqt gnun? WALA LNG. prng.. WALA LANG DIN LAHAT.
ewan ko ba kung bqt ako nagpapakatanga sayo.
e wala nmn akong nakukuha sayo in return.
HAHAHAHA. THANK YOU HA.

PUTANG INA. MAMATAY NA SANA AKO.
PLS. PLS. DI KO NA KAYA. ayoko na mabuhay.
walang kwenta mga PANGAKO. LGENG NAPAPAKO.
haha.

I really dont know, how i can be happy again.
im soo sick of me being depress. me crying. and all that shit.
but i would always end up. doing the same thing. and feeling the same
MOTHER FUCKIN thing.
when will i fucking give up?
pissed off with myself, ei?
YES.. actually..
people are gettin mad at me right now.
cause im fucked up every day.
all i need right now.. is him.
although i know he doesnt need me.
hay.
help..
im fading away.

and yes. HELLO there.
finally, im not that lazy to post anythin on my blog.

Okay.. to start things off. Life, a few changes in it.
now.. i usually sleep at around 1 or 2am. (schooldays.)
and teh reas0n is. its because.. I chat with mick.
haHa.. alm0st everyday.. and its effin fuuun. YEAAH!
October 4.. I Slept at around 5am.. actually.. me and mick. slept at around 5am.
haHa.. nice change though.
he's fun to talk to. and to be wiv.
and on school.. during recess or lunch. i hang out wiv him.
well actually.. n0t much. coz his BESHIES (raphael and darryl) would always come up to him and talk to him.
but its okay.. atleast i can still talk to him every night.
and.. i got teh chance to talk to him nung Friday.. (recess tiMe)
haha.. nasoLo qu ren. bwaHa.. XD
HEHE. didnt really expect this to happen. as in me.. and mick gettin close friends.
weirdd.
err. actually.. its uber fun.. cause we like teh same things.
he's a great guy too. uBer awes0me!! yeaah. soo funny.
he would always help me out whenever i feel so low.
soo glad coz this is really happenin.. (FOR REAL!)
haha..
en0ugh of "MICK"..
next topic.
hhMm. well.. i was suppose to let jake go..
because it hurts to know that.. its like i never gave him teh happiness he always wanted.
and if he would have it. i would always destroy it.
It hurts to know.. that teh person i love teh most. is teh person whom i hurt teh most.
and for me.. to see him cry and all that shit, all because of me.. EFFIN HURTS.
i dont want to see him in pain.. because of me.
all teh misery, all because of me.
if only.. i could give him teh happiness he deserves.
I mean.. all i want is to have a simple relationship.
but i know thats impossible. there is no such thing as a "Simple Relationship".
But then, Im thankful.. cause.. he said to me na.. he still loves me.
and it made me soo happy.
but the shitty part was.. I need to talk to his mom.. If i really want him back.
whoa. this is sooo gonna be hard. I really wanna talk to his mom. i just dont have the guts.
but i will really try. cause i love him sooo much. and i want him back.
Im so happy.. cause.. I never did gave up.
I may be weak. but this feeling would always stay strong.
so much for this shit.
Goodbye then.

weLL.. wHiLe waiting for mick to return.. i'd might as well.. post s0mething muna..
wow.. its already 3:18 am.. bwaHaha.. mick and i are talkin for.. alm0st.. 5 h0urs..
haHa.. alth0ugh his internet is such a fuckin ass. oh well.. i could still wait.
hMm.. mick is uberr fun to talk to. i've been lookin for him since last thursday..
i miss his weirdness. he's a great guy.. i could relate a lot of things wiv him.
well.. i h0pe we c0uld be good friends. err.
hmm.. n0thin new happend todei.. we have no classes since m0ndei.. untiL t0dei.. haHa..
but on thursday.. we'll be having classes na..
weee. micks back na. toodles.

"LIsten to My Heart"

Alone. Yes. Here I am again.. alone.
with no one to love.
I've been jaded with all these emotions. with all these sudden happenings..
and my heart. I must say.. is too broken to function
its funny.. how. I still am.. believing and hoping.
This heart of mine is wounded. and still it is bleeding.
Im Lost. and trap with these emotions.
got nowhere to go. got nowhere to run.
My Soul is sinking. and My Heart is Shreading.
thoughts of you keeps on running on my mind.
How the past seems so cold and yet. It also seems so bright.
I've always had the thought of leaving you.. but you would always say the right words..
that. made me stay.
Now tell me. Does It Sound stupid?
It hurts to know that in the end. all the sufferings. and all the sacrifices i've made.
seems to be nothing to you. That in the end. You would leave me. and would engrave me more pain.
but hey.. thats how love is.
You sacrifice things.. to show true love.
You show faith. to show true love.
and mostly.. You show hope. to show true love.
I would wonder.. I may not get love again in return.
and ofcourse its not okay. but..
as long as your happy. and as long as you'll give me the free will for me to express my love for you.
i guess that would be enough.. although.
Pls. Try to understand me. and see through me.
My heart cant mend all this sorrow.
and i dont know if i can live for a better tomorrow.
This broken pieces is shattered.
and yet.. it is still calling for you. beating for you. bleeding for you.
I'll do anything.. just to hold you in my arms.
i would surpass the blistering cold. and the rocky roads.. just for you.
for you to be able to realize.. for you to reach out my hand.
and love me once again.
I may be weak. but this love i have for you would always stay strong.
I'd love you till the end of all time.
hurt me a thousand times.
My heart would still.. constantly beat. for you.
I Hope one day..
You'll feel the same way too.
I Love You.

[ w0o!! ang draMa!! oh well.. this is my new poem.. hope you guys will like it!!
teehee. this is for jake.. as usual. haha. i hafta go now.. INUMAN NA TEU!! haHa ]

Minutes bleakly smeared into an hour,
And I trembled, in the nadir of my power.
Noiseless I was, as I could not plead for help,
A stapled mouth deadening the panic of my yelps.

And as I stood, my mind wandered,
For what was there to do but ponder?
Musing over memories and naivety lost,
Over awareness, maturation, and their cost.

Thoughts of an egg man who lost what he obtained,
In the quintessential rhyme of quintessential pain,
This egg man had climbed high atop a wall,
Only to sway, to topple, and to fall.

Was I alike to this nursery-rhyme man?
I, the girl with staple gun in hand?
No-Egg man had at least attained and found,
I have never raised myself above this darkened ground.

I see now that I am a consumer of precious air,
A girl without passion, devoid of a solitary care.
I exist as nothing more then a degenerate of space,
A waste of being, an insurmountable disgrace.

So, I take this staple gun once more,
And raise these sunken eyes from the floor.
Gun at temple, hands at side,
I leave this world never taking a stride.

"Today I took a staple gun
And placed it upon my lip
Eyelids clenched, block the sun
Smiled, "Let 'er rip"

A heavy pull, a sharp yelp,
Some temporary pain
And suddenly, alright I felt
Enough for it, again.

Today I took a staple gun
And placed it upon my lip
A skillful hand, much fun
But suddenly, I slipped

Staples, staples in my cheek
I had not meant to maul
O dear how today's plans look bleak,
As I'm stapled to the wall."

.Sometimes i love you so much that my heart explodes.


..fLy away.. take it aLL.. aLL my eMotiOns witH tHe wind...

What Words Could Never Feel

How do I sit here and begin to explain, what words could never feel,
and show the world a fairy tale, of which I know is real.
How do you express a heart, which holds love so pure and true,
How do you explain a feeling, the world just never knew.
Perfect love and perfect trust, has been forgotten in the past,
and so few in the world today, knows how to make love last.
If the world would open up its eyes, than maybe it would see,
that bliss is belonging to another, for all eternity.
To have someone bring a flower, just for you each day,
and light a candle in the darkness, and always light your way.
To hold you when you're feeling frail, defend you from the night,
and guard you from reality, and the harshness of its bite.
To need someone just as much, as you know they need you,
to treasure someone more than life, a love that's pure and true.
It's a feeling that you never lose, it's something without regret,
a promise that you cant take back, someone you cant forget.
It's the will to sacrifice, all that you hold dear,
giving your heart oh so blindly, with nothing left to fear.
It's your knees when they go weak, when you're just in their presence,
taking you higher than a kite, engulfed within their essence.
It's missing them when they've left your side, and been gone but a day,
it's being there for each other, long past old and gray.
It's admitting when you're wrong, for no ones always right,
and don't be scared to say " I'm sorry, " for we can't help but fight.
No one's perfect in any sense, battles come and go,
but don't forget to stand together, and true love you will show.
It's seeing something no one else, has bothered yet to see,
it's when i believe in you, and you believe in me.
It's a feeling that is all but lost, a dream I know is real,
it's something you must think by heart, it's what words could never feel.

this is for you jake.
i love you.. and i'll always do.

Ohio Is For Lovers Lyrics
Artist: Hawthorne Heights

Hey there,
I know it's hard to feel like I don't care at all.
Where you are and how you feel.
Put these lights off as these wheels
keep rolling on and on. (and on and on and on...)
Slow things down or speed them up.
Not enough or way too much. (and on and on and on...)
Are you and I gone?

And I can't make it on my own.
(And I can't make it on my own.)
Because my heart is in Ohio.

So cut my wrists and black my eyes.
(Cut my wrists and black my eyes)
So I can fall asleep tonight and die.
Because you kill me.
You know you do, you kill me well.
You like it too, and I can tell.
You never stop until my final breath is gone.

Spare me just three last words.
"I love you" is all she heard.
I'll wait for you, but I can't wait forever.

atlast.. i get to post something.. hm.. interesting again.
oh well.. after teh break up.. ofcourse.. life was full of shit.
every night.. tears keeps on fallin. tey seem so endless.
i was about to give up and.. like.. get a knife and stab myself.
but i cant. i know life doesnt end there. life is too valuable for me
to waste it just like that. i'll just stand up.. and keep believing.
haii. hm. tHen.. liFe was starting to be coLorful again.
aLthough jizzeh is uber different na..
lately.. i've become a trouble maker. lge aqu napapalabas ng mga teachers.
then.. lge nakalista sa mga pasaway. bsta.. i've been uBer noisy and naughty.
waaaaaa. my conduct will be low cguro.
but teh good thing is.. lge aqu nagpaparticipate sa class kea eun.
haii. then.. jake was.. starting to be sweet again.
hay.. it made me uber happy. as in UBER.. i mean.. siya lang nMn yung reas0n..
kung bQt aqu ngiging msya e.. oh well.. maybe.. we'll be back.. together.. again.
pero.. mtgl pa.. haii. =/
i want to show him how i love him sooo much.
it's like we're friends with benefits nga e..
but.. i hope.. one day.. i'll wake up... knowing na.. he's mine again.
that i could.. kiss him. and hug him tyt and never let go.
its funny how i try to post on my blog about.. me being scared of..
me and jake breaking up.. that i dont even have an idea wat teh reason might be.
haHa.. then after a few weeks. tHere!. he was already saying teh words.. i dont want to hear.
haHa.. it's funny on how i believed in the promises that he made. that made me think that.
we were gonna be forever..
and the most funniest part was.. i xtiL believe in all the promises he made.
do i sound stupid or wat?.. haHa.. i didnt even got mad at him.
my heart was totally bleeding.. but.. in teh end. i DID end up.. hoping..
and still.. loving him.
oh well.. me gonna change na.. teh way i look. walk. talk.
haii..
then..
nUng thursday.. we had no classes.
there was a bagyoooo. named.. MILENYO.
w0w.. and maniLa was like.. w0o!. big disaster.
and life too! haHa.. we had no electricty.. for like.. 4 days.. aMpf..
no tv. no internet. no electricty.
good thing.. we have a electricty!!!
hhm. i wonder.. why.. jake isnt replyin on my tx.. whiLe..
ngrerehp nmn sia sa ib..
aghhh. i dont wanna jump in2 conclusions.
hai.. 2tal.. i dont wanna.. get mad.. all i ever did was.
play with teh candLe.. (yung tuLo ng kandiLa.. tinuLo qu sa kamay qu.)
haHa.. saya nga e. hAiiiii.
ala pa kme ps0k.. hanggang wednesday..
AGHH. haii.. oh well..

^jaKe.. pls.. l0ve me tender^