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Posted on: Sunday, August 06, 2006
Posted at: 12:21 PM
[ Listen to y0ur heart.. wHen he's caLLing f0r y0u.. bef0re y0u teL hiM g0odbye ]

.: i w0ke up at ar0und.. 8:30am.. nd started crying again.. bef0re i went t0 bed.. i was crying..
nd when i w0ke up.. haha.. i was stiL crying.. my heart was.. giving up.. actuali.. I WAS.. ab0ut t0 give up..
bUt tHen.. i t0ok my ip0d.. nd i listened t0 the s0ng "haLo".. and "cheMicals react"..
i started feeLin a bit okay.. i tried texting my friends..to ask f0r help..
tHen suddenly.. s0mething w0ke or.. s0me0ne w0ke my mind..
nd i started.. thinking.. tHat i sh0uld n0t give up.. let's say.. he/she.. enc0uraged me..
never t0 give up.. if i reaLLy l0ve hiM.. then i sh0uld fight my l0ve f0r hiM..
i sh0uld h0ld on.. if i reaLi l0ve him.. then giving up is n0t the s0luti0n..
s0o.. i was l0oking f0r my letter b0x.. where all his letters were t0gether..
tHen i read his last letter.. [our 9th m0nthsari] my fave line that gave me much strength was..
"hey.. baby.. dont leave me ah.. i'm getting scared.. i might lose you.. and i cant take that much
pressure.. i love you.. yaan mo po.. la ka dpt intindihin skin.. di ako mwawala.. d2 lng ako..(n0se t0 n0se)"

it enlightened me.. nd i started gaining h0pe.. and faith.. these are trials.. on h0w much my heart can take..
and iM glad.. that my prayers.. are s0meh0w.. being answered one by one..
i l0ve y0uGOD.. thank y0u..
i l0ve jake s0o0o much.. and i cant aff0rd to lose hiM..
he means s0o much to me.. and no one.. can ever.. break us apart...
uh..
i didn't do anythin t0dei.. i tried.. being happie.. haha.. lol..
i tried.. to f0rget.. my pr0blem..
but it just keeps on haunting me..
g0od thing i didn't cry..
c0z if i did.. i'd reali be uber WEAK..
c0z nung thursday night.. up to saturday night..
all i did was.. CRY.. CRY.. ano MORE CRY..
hekhek..
cry baby cry..
atleast.. iM starting to be okay now..
well.. i g0tta g0 n0w..
t0odles.

_we.cann0t.deny.what.we.fiL.inside.