Gosh!!!! OMG... it's good to be back people!!
i haven't updated my bl0g c0z our f0ne was br0ken since last wednesday..
so our f0ne was br0ken f0r ab0ut.. 1 week and 5 days..
w0w..
well..
there are a l0t of things that happend in the past few days or week..
a l0t of haPpie stuffs.. d0nt y0u find it weird? i get to hang out with guys alMost everyday..
they were a part of my everyday life.. it's lyk they're my new barkadas.. c0z i get much attention..
unlike.. the others.. they would even say bad things or backstab me.. harhar.. [ s0me of them
are my besfriends.. g0sh.. g0 t0 hell.. get a life..]
it's fun being ar0und with the guys.. they said that im they're "QUEEN" haha..
and leyva is teh king.. and our funny b0dyguards.. rohan and juLian...
hekhek.. i feel so special when iM with theM.. it's lyk n0thing's wr0ng.. like everything
is goin fine.. they heLp me f0rget all the painful things that people gives me..
alth0ugh.. on sec0nd th0ught.. s0metimes they w0uld think that im a bit FLIRTY..
HAHA.. oh reaLi?.. fLirty ei?.. hMm.. it's n0t even my fault.. they're the one who keeps on
f0llowing me ar0und.. not ME.. haHa.. l0sers..
hMm..
life is starting to be c0mplicated.. c0z they're a l0t of guys wh0.. keeps on
c0urting me.. even th0ugh i have a bf.. *sigh*
and an0ther one is..
it's..
hard.. when you feel jelly... i mean.. i just hate it when i feel jelly..
everything seeMs to go wr0ng..
i'll start to hate hiM.. and i'll start to hate myself as well..
then s0me pipol wiLL talk b0ut me AGAIN.. [ bad things b0ut me ]
y0u kn0w wat the painful part is?
it's where you get to realize.. that even ur b0yfren.. is like..
saying bad things b0ut you.. that wat iM d0in is wr0ng and stuff..
it hurts c0z of all the pipol that i w0uld expect wh0 w0uld understand me the m0st..
is als0.. unavailable.. he's out of reach..
it's like he d0esnt understand me at all..
but WHY??... didn't he even FEEL this?
or is he trying to pretend that.. he's INNOCENT?
s0metimes i w0nder..
wat if i w0uld try t0 break up with hiM..
w0uld i stiL live? can i make it? is it the right tiMe?
or.. h0w b0ut...w0uld i let this heart of mine BLEED all the way thr0ugh and stiL l0ve hiM
with all my heart???..
HAHA..
s0unds difficult..
there are a l0t of mysteries when it c0mes t0 this situati0n..
nd this mysteries.. starts to make things w0rse..
the reas0n why i hate him s0metimes..
is bc0z.. i d0nt get it.. it's like if i w0uld try to let this feeling out..
seems to me.. n0thing's happening even if i try to teL hiM wat i fil..
you kn0w why?.. c0z the same scenario w0uld be..
we w0uld argue b0ut it.. then i'll l0se..
it's n0t that i d0nt wanna accept my mistakes..
but.. wat the heck?..
I mean.. if you reali kn0w me.. and y0u kn0w the things that w0uld make me cry..
or i'll get hurt.. why even dare try to make me cry? or do the things that w0uld hurt me?..
that's if.. you reali kn0w me...
i als0 hate myself..
c0z iM being t0o seLfish..
i hate myself c0z it's lyk i limit hiM..
he cant d0 things freely.. and iM s0rry b0ut that..
bUt.. h0nestly.. this is wh0 i aM..
all i wanna do.. is.. sh0w and tell wat i feel..
iM just being tru to my feelings..
is dat such a bad thing??..
well a friend of myn said..
"sana.. dti plang nging mej0 seLosa na aqu.. dhil npaka halaga nea skn..
laM mu.. minsan ang pgiging seLosa.. aus lang.. bsta dpt laM mu lng kung
cnu pagseseLosan mu.. ksi.. ala nMn masama kung magseLos..
ang pagseseLos kxe.. minsan.. sign yun ng pag care.. indi sa walang trust..
per0.. minsan kxe natatq0t ka lang na mwala yung tao.. PROMISE gnun yun.."
bla bla.. and there it is.. a tagal0g line in my bl0g.. [ f0r the first tiMe ]
well.. she's ryt..
indi nMn tlg aqu ngsesel0s dhil ala trust e.. gnun lun tlg nu..
haHa.. di neu lun tlg kme maintindihan.. pero.. aus lun...
bhala na keu..
w8... i'll c0ntinue this l8er...
toodles.